Faculty/Staff Assistance Program
Assertive Behavior: An Outline
- Assertive behavior is often confused with aggressive behavior; however, assertion
does not involve intentionally hurting the other person physically or emotionally.
- Assertive behavior aims at equalizing the balance of power, not in "winning the battle"
by putting the other person down or rendering her/him helpless.
- Assertive behavior involves expressing your legitimate rights as an individual. You
have a right to express your wants, needs, feelings and ideas. But so does the other
person.
- Remember: other individuals have a right to respond to your assertiveness with their
own wants, needs, feelings and ideas.
- An assertive encounter with another individual may involve negotiating an agreeable
compromise.
- By behaving assertively, you open the way for honest relationships with others.
- Assertive behavior not only is concerned with what you say but how you say it.
- Assertive words accompanied by appropriate assertive "body language" makes your
message more clear and impactful.
- Assertive body language includes the following:
- Maintaining direct eye contact.
- Maintaining an erect posture.
- Speaking clearly and audibly.
- Making sure you do not have a whiny quality to your voice.
- Using appropriate facial expression and gestures to add emphasis to your words.
- Assertive behavior is a skill that can be learned and maintained by frequent practice.
- Understand the behavior.
- Prepare people; ask for feedback: involve them in the process.
- Choose initial attempts that will be successful.
- Appropriate is the key.
