Well, not exactly.
The energetic woman who’s telling this story now over baba ghanoush at the Metropolitan Bakery near Penn’s campus is a Philadelphia resident, a scientist, and a single parent who was named 2001 Working Mother of the Year by Working Mother magazine. She also is founder of Empowerment through Learning Information Technology (eLIT), a non-profit that teaches computer skills to socially and economically disadvantaged women and children. Since eLIT’s creation five years ago (www.elitonline.org), a thousand students have passed through its centers in West Philadelphia, India, and Pakistan.
In addition to improving women’s prospects, Rizvi hopes the eLIT model can be expanded to counter the forces that feed terrorism. “No one is safe until everyone is safe,” she says. “I think we can use communications technology to bring peoples of different cultures, nationalities, and religions closer and really create harmony and understanding.”
With her long dark hair pulled off her heart-shaped face, her ready laugh, and her often self-effacing manner, the adult Rizvi doesn’t fit the standard image of a rebel, and she certainly didn’t see herself that way growing up.
It was a source of family pride that Rizvi, one of five girls, was such a good student. (“Math and science came so naturally,” she says.) But that wasn’t enough to elevate her to the first-class status enjoyed by her brothers. “I never questioned that social order,” she says. “That was just the way things were.”
She majored in chemistry at the University of Karachi, ranking number two in her statewide graduating class. When she went to collect her diploma, one of her professors told her that an American professor was there, interviewing students for scholarships to American graduate schools. “I said, ‘There is no way on earth my parents are going to let me go abroad to study alone.’” He begged her to sit for an interview anyway, wanting to impress the professor with the university’s top students.
Afterward Rizvi quietly filled out some applications and mailed them. “I didn’t know what would happen. I had never lived outside my home. At that point I don’t think I had ever slept in a room by myself.” When she started to receive offers, including one from the University of Oklahoma, her family’s first reaction was stunned silence. Then came anger, particularly from her brothers, who didn’t think it was right for a single woman to live away from home.
“My family decided I would go study only if I were married, because then I’m no longer my family’s responsibility as a single unwed woman and it would then be my husband’s decision to let me study or not.”
Two weeks after Rizvi started classes, she got marriedover the telephone. A few hundred guests attended her wedding back home. “They had a fancy wedding dinner, the whole nine yards,” she reports with a wry smile. “Just no bride.” Once Rizvi’s new husband joined her in Oklahoma, her fantasies of what marriage would be like quickly faded. “But I am grateful because something wonderful and beautiful came out of that marriagemy daughter.”
After the birth of Maham, who is now 15, Rizvi began to change. “I started to become anchored and more of a woman rather than a scared girl who was just good at school.” Her growing independence didn’t square with her husband’s views on how she should act and she didn’t want her own daughter to grow up with the restrictions she had known.
The couple separated, and eventually divorced. “I felt that if I worked hard, I can get my Ph.D. and provide my daughter a safe, happy, and nurturing home,” she says. Her decision to raise Maham on her own was “unthinkable for my upbringing, [but] I knew no matter how hard I worked that I could not make my marriage work in a way that was respectable to me.” Her family didn’t understand. “My father told me, ‘If you’re not married to this man, my son-in-law, you’re not my daughter.’”
As painful and scary as it was to be cut off from most of her family, Rizvi managed to cultivate her own “amazing support system” in Oklahoma. Her friends were graduate students and post-docs from Ghana, China, Sri Lanka, and Uganda. They were the parents of a law-school friend. A diverse extended family, who gathered with her on holidays, and who babysat while she worked late in the lab.
“My daughter grew up totally color blind,” Rizvi says. “A black woman with curly hair was Auntie Gertrude and a white Southern Baptist couple were Grandma and Grandpa.” The experience “opened my eyes, and I cannot ignore the fact that at the base of everything is human relation, devoid of other superficial strings.”
Though Rizvi didn’t lack for friendship, sleep was scarce. “I don’t think I’ve ever worked that hard in my life,” she recalls. She would work all day while Maham was in daycare, bring her home, put her to bed, and leave for the laboften until 1 or 2 a.m. Rizvi sometimes traded cooking for babysitting with friends. Other times, she says, “I would carry Maham with her bedding and she would sleep in the lab while I worked on experiments.”
A post-doc brought Rizvi to Penn’s School of Medicine in 1995. She has stayed in Philadelphia since then, working for GlaxoSmithKlinefirst as a cancer researcher working on human genome data, and now, with the help of a Wharton MBA, as manager of the company’s achievement and corporate excellence group.
One day she happened to attend a talk in New York by Asma Jahangir, a Pakistani women’s rights activist. “She was talking about cases of abuse and how they end up in the justice system at the mercy of very gender-skewed judicial standards. I looked at my life and thought, ‘I could have been one of those women.’ Instead, I was sitting here with a Ph.D. in chemistry, full custody of my daughter, and a job I enjoyed. It just turned something in my head about how privileged my existence is. I knew the choices I made were alien to millions of women in my corner and other parts of the world. I was able to make those choices simply because of my education and economic independence.”
Rizvi started thinking about how she could use computer technology to create more opportunities for other women, and this was the seed from which eLIT grew.
It was slow going at first. Rizvi recalls an information-technology conference she attended on Capitol Hill at the height of the dot.com boom, where “no one was willing to look at this proposal as a viable, socially responsible investment in any sense.” But she persevered, gradually gathering a group of eight people she knew through work or her daughter’s school and convincing each of them to join her effort.
Pia Neman, eLIT’s treasurer and a neighbor in Rizvi’s apartment complex, says, “I didn’t really realize how ambitious of an idea it was until after I’d gone to a couple of meetings and she started going around to people and asking for donations.” (Among the organizations that donated computers were Penn’s Center for Community Partnerships, the Wharton Marketing Group, and Rizvi’s own company.) “I tease her that nobody ever says No to her,” Neman says. “She says that’s because eLIT is such a good idea. But we all know there are a million good ideas out there, and they don’t all get that far off the ground. She’s also very demanding of herself. She’s tremendously dedicated and energetic.”
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©2005 The Pennsylvania Gazette
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The Power of Her Choices